Evangelion 5(point)0 - You Will (Not) Survive
by kaiwai
Summary: AU. There is a large meteor hurdling towards earth, & it will cause the end of life as we know it-until a certain SEELE pilot steps up & forces the meteor out of the earth's past; & at a very steep cost. The meteor came dangerously close, knocking the moon out of orbit & causing mass disaster on earth. But what happened to the pilot? And what is Shinji doing now without him?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So I noticed that FFN is being a dick and not letting me put '5.0' on the title. It's supposed to say 'Evangelion 5.0 - You Will (Not) Survive' and insteadit says 'Evangelion 50'...I am not okay with this. The play is supposed to be on how Anno writes the titles as '1.0', '1.11', '2.0', '2.1', etc. Not 111, 10, 21, and 20.**

 **Seriously?**

 **Anyway. Not much else to say right now other than how disappointed I am in myself. I have discontinued 3 stories on here so far because of my lack of ability and my laziness. I need a drink...**

 **Oh yeah. Much better. Let's see. Drink, relaxing position, comfy bed, good internet signal, warm and cuddly, music playing...just peed twice...now I'm ready to write for hours on end.**

 **I feel like there's something missing...eh, maybe next time. Anyway...**

 **So I actually had a dream about this. The dream was that I was Kaworu and I was with Shinji at the time that NASA announced the whole meteor thing, and NERV, SEELE, and NASA had partnered together for once to figure out a way to destroy the meteor before it destroys us.**

 **Supposedly, this meteor was a part of a big bang in another galaxy, and pieces of it spent billions of lightyears traveling to earth and killed the dinosaurs, and now, another chunk of it has finally found its' way to earth-history has a way of repeating itself.**

 **This thing threatens life as we know it on earth, and when they made a plan to send an EVA into space to collide with the meteor, of course they figured out there was no way they could've done it without a knowledgeable person on board to pilot it. I volunteered, and well, let's just say some serious shit went down.**

 **I mean...it would be terrible if I spoiled the whole story before it began, right?**

 **So I know I haven't been entirely truthful. It's hard for me to continue writing...and it's not because I'm busy...it's like..78% laziness, 20% busy, and 2% I-can't-use-my-computer-cause-the-shitty-internet-signal-in-my-room. So, uhm...there. I shared something honestly with my lovely followers(Which I'm pretty sure the only one that worships me is BeYukii(forgive me if I misspelled that it's 2am and I'm tired.)).**

 **Okay, okay, I have one more thing to say. I want to make this story as long as possible, so I have a writing goal of at least 3500-5000 words per chapter...for those of you that know me really well, I know, you know, this is near impossible for me. Well, I'm here to tell you that it is not impossible for me. I'm going to do it. I'm going to. I'm going to try for at least 3500. Wish me luck.**

 **Enjoy~!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion or any of the characters. Those belong to Hideaki Anno respectfully. Anyone else mentioned in the mix that does not seem from the anime is just me making up names for the sake of the story. I do (not) own anything else.**

 **Warning: language, gore(a lot of barfing), violence, angst, and some serious depressing shit. Be warned, this might make some of the rather sensitive cry. If I don't make you cry, well...I'm planning on coming out with a music video based off this book soon and that will DEFINITELY make y'all cry.**

* * *

 _Hold,_

 _Hold on,_

 _Hold on to me,_

 _Cause I'm a little unsteady._

 _A little unsteady._

 _Everything is different the second time around._

* * *

Rain came down from the cloudy skies steadily, creating a movie-like atmosphere for the people in the bus bustling along on the uneven asphalt. The bus driver moved skillfully to avoid the broken down, rusting, abandoned cars on the road and the giant, crater-like potholes in the ground. He listened quietly as the people in the bus prayed and sang together for their lost loved ones.

Candles, pictures, flowers, shrines, and everything else adorned the sidewalks of the city, leaving not a single square inch of white uncovered. Several homeless or wandering families had long-since eaten the food and treats left on the side to stay alive, but it proved pointless, as their starved, skeleton-with-skin bodies lay limp and lifeless in between rotting, destroyed buildings and in gravel-ridden driveways or parking lots.

Rows and rows of houses, apartment complexes, stores, shops, or just random buildings lay trashed, burned, or already thoroughly raided along the streets. Some still had fires burning inside, or had products way past their expiration date that nobody needed or wanted; anyone that had grabbed any of it was well and dead by now.

A pair of blue eyes scoured the streets assiduously through the windshield of the bus bobbing through the streets like in infant at play. This driver was well-accustomed to the roads, but he still kept his eyes peeled for any danger to make his passengers' grieving transition easier.

As if avoiding potholes on a deserted street helped. Really.

They were headed towards what was known as the 'Stadium Graveyard', where lost loved ones could reunite once again since the tsunami disaster by the meteor incident, although they were usually reuniting with body bags or badly decomposed bodies or partial limbs, if brought anything other than pictures and disappointment. The stadium was famously known nowadays for bringing only grief; the reason why many refused to come and receive closure and why many more needed confirmation that the ones they loved were really gone.

Shinji was on the bus headed towards the Stadium Graveyard, Pen Pen quiet in the seat next to him.

And although each time he went, he knew the answer each time would be more devastating than hearing it the last, he never gave up hope of what he might find, or rather, _who_ he might find there.

Actually, in all honesty, he didn't know who he meant by 'who', because he was sure all of his friends and family were dead. He knew he was only lucky to survive because he had stolen Misato's car so he could watch Kaworu's death and had outraced the tsunami long enough to find high enough ground to keep from drowning or exploding into a million pieces from the impact of the water like all those other people had.

All the other people they buried at the Graveyard Stadium...

He had been there plenty of times, and of course, like everyone else, he saw what had happened in the sky. Even if he _did_ survive, there was no way his body could've made it back down to earth. It would've burned up as soon as it hit the first atmosphere.

And even if he survived _that_ , they would find his body in pieces from having splattered everywhere when it hit the ground.

It sent shivers through Shinji's spine to think that the other pilot hadn't survived, but it also sent chills down his spine to think he was alive somewhere in outer space...suffering until he slowly died...alone...

Space was such a black, meaningless void. So empty and wide and...useless. It was the symbol of everything humans didn't want to face: chaos, disorder, emptiness, endlessness, and most horrifying of all, _loneliness_.

It was why Eve was created for Adam, right?

Loneliness..?

But why did he feel alone when he was surrounded by people then..?

And thinking about this was killing Shinji on the inside. He couldn't imagine it at all. He didn't like to think about it.

Each bus ride he took killed him, too. The drive was long and filled with anxiety, mixed emotions, a quiet Pen Pen, and repetitive, blank tapes. Since he could remember, all the tapes played over and over was white noise, silence that filled his ears so harshly he thought they would bleed. Speaking of blood...

LCL...what a funny thing to name blood that's been heavily oxygenated. Might as well hang a sign on the EVAs that says 'does not contain actual blood'. What was the deal with the smell, too? And how could an EVA possibly run out of time without a charger faster than its' off-charge time limit?

These were questions he'd like to ask Misato, or his father even, if his father would talk to him...

 _Or if he were still alive..._

Oddly enough, he didn't regret his actions back at NERV. _So much blood...how could one human bleed so much?_

And even if he could talk to his father, what would the man say to him?

 _"You're a failure. You couldn't ever do a damned thing right. It's why you're alone now."_

But even so, such a thing could never happen. He'd just be stuck without answers forever, because NERV and everyone in it was destroyed long ago when the first tsunami hit. The news report said that the force from the water hit so hard that the second the waves made contact with NERV everything was obliterated faster than anyone could've read what was happening. _So there was no time to warn anyone of what was coming..._

He had tried to in the beginning. Tried to warn everyone. Tried to race Misato's car to its' limit towards NERV, hoping to save someone, _anyone_...he knew who actually. He needed to save _her_ , even through everything; he needed to save _her_. He owed her _everything_.

But, as usual, he backed out at the last second like the coward he was. He tried to tell himself that it wasn't his fault and there wasn't anything he could do, but he knew he was lying to himself and he hated himself for that. He hated himself for it all. Why couldn't he be more like Kaworu or Rei or Asuka or Mari and just dive right into the face of Death without being a coward? Just once, why couldn't he do _something_ right? Something heroic like Kaworu?

It really was rather comical; what happened at NERV with the EVA plan. They had done everything right. Everything was perfectly calculated, perfectly counted on. The one thing they didn't count on, however, was that the EVA would run out of power before it ever reached its' target.

* * *

 _The whole world watched on national TV live as Kaworu's EVA rose from underground NERV, facing straight towards the angle of the meteor's path. The meteor was already burning through part of the stratosphere from its' g-force, and Kaworu could hear the mass panic of the people below him. The people he was trying to protect. The people that he was trying to keep safe...the person he was trying to keep safe..._

 _Shinji..._

 _Kaworu snapped out of it._ _The plan was as perfect as could be so far. Everything was right so far. It was perfect so far._

 _Everything was going to stay that way. He would make sure of it._

 _He ran as fast as he could push the EVA to run and jumped against the launchpad as hard as he could, thanking Gendo for the spring added to help him reach the meteor. He was exactly on the calculated path towards the meteor, and they would collide exactly as planned; Kaworu would use his strength to fling away the meteor, if he was fast enough(he would certainly go up in flames if he couldn't react quickly enough and it would all be over.)._

 _But it wasn't enough. The heat from putting so much force into his leap towards the meteor was causing the EVA to freak out, and hard. Alarms blared, lights flashed, and Kaworu could feel parts of his flesh peel painfully as the unit glitched and it drained its' own battery from being overridden. Kaworu looked at the clock with determination. 54 seconds._

 _He was going to make them count. He was going to do this. He was going to do this._

 _He bit his lip through the pain, pushed harder, and the EVA unit stretched out its' arm as far as it could towards the meteor. 37 seconds._

 _He could do this. If not, it would've all been for nothing and the 'Lilin', as he called them, would all die if he couldn't at least knock the meteor away from earth, if not destroy it completely. Fourteen billion eyes were on him, hoping, praying, and depending on him to save their lives. There was no other choice for him. And if it did kill everyone and he survived, he couldn't live with himself. He wouldn't live with himself. He'd be a disgrace._

 _He could feel the intense heat starting to burn through the armor and flesh of the EVA, making its' blood slowly start to boil. He bit back the pain and stretched the unit's arm out further, gritting his teeth._

 _He could suddenly hear Misato's voice in the confusion of unsettled cries over the comm. He strained his ears to listen, but to his horror, all he could hear was 'out of time.'_

 _Like a ball thrown way too hard for a small, inexperienced athlete to handle, the meteor slipped past the EVA's fingertips, just barely out of reach; scorching his hands clean off and making him scream in pain._

 _It was just barely out of reach._

 _Just barely out of reach._

 _Just._

 _Barely._

 _Out._

 _Of._

 _Reach._

 _Kaworu was horrified._

 _He failed._

 _They were dead._

 _Seven billion people._

 _Fourteen billion eyes._

 _Gone._

 _With the EVA unit now dead, he began his rapid descent down, and with utter dread, a chilling realization came to Kaworu that made him freeze and widen his eyes in terror._

 _The meteor didn't slip past his hands._

 _It hit his hands._

 _With the last bit of strength the EVA had, it had sacrificed its' hands to knock the meteor off its' path towards earth._

 _But another horrific realization hit Kaworu almost as hard as the meteor._

 _The meteor was now hurdling straight towards the moon._

 _"Come on!" Kaworu growled as he kicked and thrashed in the pilot's seat. After a minute of struggling, Kaworu took a half-breath. Finally, he kicked the controls as hard as he could, momentarily jamming and glitching them out, and the EVA had 15 seconds of power left._

 _That's all he needed._

 _Kaworu forced the EVA around and it tucked and rolled just in time, only destroying a few empty buildings in its' path as it slid to a stop backwards until the road was gone from under its' feet and in a pile around it._

 _Kaworu pushed the EVA into a forward bolt after the meteor to the moon, and with just about the craziest luck he'd ever had in his life, was able to use the last second of charge to grab a tight hold on the meteor. The force from his awkward direction spun the meteor out, and Kaworu's EVA burned on impact, destroying the meteor as well._

 _Screams and cries of esctasy could be heard all around the world; people were over the moon with joy as they couldn't be more relieved. Everyone everywhere was thrilled, everyone except Shinji, who was covered in blood and staring nervously into the sky with wide eyes. He was the only one that had seen everything, including what was going to happen next._

 _The impact from Kaworu's EVA hitting the meteor at an angle caused an upset balance, and force shifted so hard against the moon, it was immediately knocked off-orbit, heading closer to earth with an unnerving rumbling._

 _People screamed and ran...but it was no use. They climbed, went to their rooftops, hid, drove like maniacs...pointless. Water, so much water...it tore everything within 500 miles of the coast of Southern California, shaking and wiping out a good chunk of Tokyo III. NERV was instantly wiped out, people were dead...everyone...so many people...so many bodies...so many floating bodies...so many floating limbs and torsos...and...heads...guts...desecrated bodies...people that had been picked clean alive by animals...or...other people..._

* * *

Shinji grew unsettled in his chair. He could feel himself quickly become dizzy, and he knew what was happening before it came.

The bus driver stopped the bus and opened the double doors just in time to let Shinji throw up on the grass. Pen Pen just sat quietly in his chair and waited; the passengers murmured to each other, mostly gossiping about the anxious teen. Everyone knew Shinji's name, and they knew exactly who he was, but there was no way they could've really known about what was going on with him. They could judge him all they wanted, as long as they never knew the truth.

* * *

"Have you heard of him before?"

"Who hasn't! Do you know who that is?"

"Why of course! He's the weak little boy from NERV."

"Yeah, that's Ikari's boy. The EVA pilot to Unit 01."

"Really? What's his story?"

"Pathetic child. Who cares?"

"So sad, really. You know, they say they never found his father's body..."

"Poor boy. Father deserved it."

"I think he deserved on be on the EVA. That other child was much too much of a better pilot than his boy."

 _"Too much of a better pilot..."_

 _"Better pilot..."_

 _"Better...pilot..."_

 _"Better...pilot..."_

* * *

 _"Dad..?"_

* * *

 _Kaworu smiles warmly at Shinji, and that's the last thing the brunette sees before the other pilot slips into the black Challenger in front of them and speeds off to NERV._

 _Shinji's emotions race through him like a million ghosts phasing through his body, and it's painful. How could Kaworu so easily give up his life like that..? It's one thing to get into an EVA and walk blindly right into danger, but at least there you can fight for your life. Here, nobody was coming out on top. Kaworu was abandoning all his friends to fling right into the arms of Death. Maybe it wasn't as bad for him because he understood it or saw it differently than Shinji saw it, but there was definitely no way anyone other than Kaworu would do that._

 _And Shinji couldn't let him._

 _Without even thinking, Shinji took off on foot towards NERV. If he could somehow get there before Kaworu left, maybe he could convince the white-haired pilot what he was doing wasn't sensible._

* * *

 _Kaworu was already in his plug suit and on the ladder to climb into the EVA when he heard someone faintly calling his name. He knew that voice._

 _"Kaworu!" Shinji cried out, panting heavily. "You can't go, you psycho! Are you insane!? What about your friends!? What about your life!? You can't do this!" he pleaded, but he was destroyed when the pilot simply smiled patronizingly at him._

 _"If doing what I was made to do makes me insane, then I'm mad as a hatter. I'll be back, Shinji. I promise," he lied, and Shinji suddenly pounced on the other pilot, forcing himself to keep composure. He didn't last long and Kaworu somewhat reluctantly let Shinji cry in his arms before he really couldn't stay any longer, and the brunette was beyond himself as he watched the EVA leave NERV quarters through the West exit._

* * *

 _"How could you do it!?" Shinji demanded as he entered his father's office. "How could you!? I can't even-" the brunette struggled to catch his words and tried to keep his fury from making him lose it. "You assigned him to take on this mission knowing well how I feel about-!? How we feel!? About everything!?"_

 _His father just faced the window quietly, which fueled Shinji's anger even more._

 _"Say something, you bastard!"_

 _Before either of them knew it, Shinji was destroying everything in the office and letting it all smash to the floor; he gave it a good stomping for extra measure._

 _Shinji panted heavily, out-of-breath for the second time that day. His breathing was now and once again the only sound in the room, and as soon as that had calmed down enough, he heard his father address him._

 _"Are you done acting like a six year old?"_

 _Shock shook Shinji, and he had to take a second to register what had happened, when his father continued._ _"He was a better pilot than you ever were," Ikari said, "and that's why we put him in that EVA and not you."_

* * *

 _"Stop lying to yourself, runt. You're not a pilot. You're hardly a man at all."_

 _"Don't listen to them, okay, Shinji? You're just different, that's all."_

 _"Who cares? Do you believe them?"_

 _"A'ha, you're rather lucky I think. I'd kill to be 'cowardly' like you."_

 _"Shinji, Shinji, Shinji...you're an idiot, you know that?"_

 _"Hmm. Well? Are you gonna do it or not?"_

* * *

 **Oh dear lord. So close. I'm like...147 words away from my goal. Hang on. One more sweep.**

 **Ahhhhhh 88 more words!**

 **40 more words!**

 **Yay! 3700+ words!**

 **Am I annoying anyone yet?**

 **Alright, alright, I'll stop, I'll stop. So pleas, if you guys really do like it, or really really don't like it, tell me what you do/ don't like by hitting the review button. I would like to reach my goal of having at least one review for each of my stories.**

 **Also, I think I'm going to have a little contest for fun. I have with me Evangelion 1.11 You Are (Not) Alone for anyone who can guess in the correct order who said the quotes above my little note here. The winner will receive a private message from me notifying them they've won. If there are multiple winners, I'll just go by whoever guessed it correctly first. Here's your hint:**

 ** _Your hint is a list of the characters who spoke the quotes above. Guess the order correctly and win. Please, one try per person._**

 **Mari M.**

 **Misato K.**

 **Gendo I.**

 **Kaworu N.**

 **Asuka L. S.**

 **Rei A.**

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, it's almost 3,000 words, I swear. It's 2,831 words, and this is the longest I could make it without making any more unnecessary crap in there. I originally was not going to make this longer than one chapter, but someone convinced me on here to make it longer and with lots of help from my roommates who are both excellent writers, I was able to make this. I would like to thank them and the little follower that convinced me to do this. I am forever grateful for your support, guys.**

 **As for the contest from the last chapter, well, it's over, and a friend of mine won. No, I will not reveal the order(just to be mean) but I will hold another contest. I have with me a 50th anniversary special collector's edition of the original Ghost in the Shell for whoever can tell me who my favorite character from Neon Genesis Evangelion is. I'll give you guys a hint: it's one of the children. You have a one out of five chance of getting it right, so, good luck! One try per person, please.**

 **And now, it is with great pleasure I release this chapter into the wild! Enjoy!**

 **Warning: language, blood, gore, illegal stuff, dead stuff, vandalizing, scaring, spoilers. A bit of ideas came from The Martian. Do not read if you have not seen it and you do not want spoilers.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion or any of the characters. That belongs to Hideaki Anno respectfully. The plot is mine. Any characters not in the anime are filler characters or characters I put in for the story's sake**.

* * *

 _Wish we could turn back time,_

 _To the good ol' days,_

 _When the mamas sang-_

 _-Us to sleep but now we're stressed out._

 _Come on, baby, don't fear the reaper._

* * *

A single leaf falls from one of the dozens of trees in the driveway to the abandoned school. Normally, Shinji would ride this road at 100+ mph with the top down to feel the lonely touch of the wind breezing through his soft brown hair, or the occasional gentle kiss of a falling leaf into his lap.

It was towards the end of fall and beginning of winter, and it was proving to be a bitter and icy transition. Shinji knew what this meant.

No more bodies would be coming in. The city search would stop because it would be pointless to search for bodies in ice and snow and cold. Nobody would want to do it; and if they did, what would they find? Brittle, frozen pieces of carcasses long-since rotted? Leftovers of dead bodies that animals and even other humans had been surviving off of? And what would the city say?

 _'Oh, don't worry, the ice and snow will preserve the bodies.'_

Yeah it'll preserve them. It'll preserve them under 9 feet of snow.

Just as Shinji was a minute away from contemplating suicide, his stomach growled. All this cannibalism was making him hungry.

He kicked up leaves as he pushed the car way past the speed limit. He knew it was illegal, but the sign was missing, so who cares?

 _Ba-dump_. Oops. Found the sign.

Shinji pulled right up to the front of the school. The grass was yellowed and dead beyond saving, and the once vibrant water fountains were covered in poison oak that was growing through the cracks and in the muddy, green water of the bowls. Vines crawled up and into the school through windows and doors, and the school itself was a rotting mess. The only thing that worked anymore was the giant clock on the fascia of the school, and Shinji was a bit disappointed to learn that it had been shot at until the minute hand had fallen off. This had to have been recently, because he was here just a few days ago, and that meant there were people inside. Shinji pulled a silver glock from underneath his car seat and loaded it carefully, counting the bullets as he did.

Most likely, he was going to go in there and some stupid teenagers were going to be in there, screwing around and vandalizing the building for fun. Shinji was there once, as a teenager, and he'd done his fair share of vandalizing things back when he was coming out of his puberty hell. Of course, that was because he was upset over everything that had happened before all this bull with NERV launching Kaworu into space. That was no excuse, he knew, but he thought it was better than emptying all his clips into the air. He kinda needed those.

Shinji stepped as silently as he could into the building, gun raised and ready to fire. He stopped once he reached the lockers a few feet away from the doors. He wanted to listen first and see if he could hear anything; sure enough, he could the rowdy laughter of teenage boys smashing things, blaring rock music, and laughing. Shinji slowly ascended up the steps to where the boys were, but he stopped halfway through as a thought hit him.

He grinned.

* * *

"Yo, dude, check this out. Somebody drew a dick on this one," one of the boys said as he held up a textbook to a page with precisely that on the bottom. The other four boys with him laughed at it, and one ripped out the page only to shove it into another's mouth. "Told you Kai was gay you guys! He eats dick! Run!" he laughed, and the other boys in the group joined him but the one named Kai, who was busy trying to punch his friend. Their fun was cut short when they heard a voice scream at them to get out.

The boys stared at each other with wide eyes until they heard the voice scream again.

"Yo, nigga, you didn't tell us this shit was haunted!" one screamed at the leader who was still holding a textbook; he set the textbook down and looked around suspiciously. "It's not haunted..." he said, "no one died here."

"But I heard this one chick was being hella bullied and she lie, drowned or something in one of the toilets, ese!" one said, and another cuffed him upside the head. "What in the hell is wrong with you!? She didn't drown in the toilets, ya dumbfuck. She fell out a window."

The leader silenced them with a sharp hiss. "This is clearly the work of an invading group," he said, "so let's show them who was here first, gentlemen."

* * *

The group walked slowly down the halls, shining flashlights in some of the darker areas where there was no light coming in. The leader tried some of the light switches, but none really worked, or if they did, they only flickered dim light for a minute. He was about to give up the search as they reached the end of the hall when they saw a shadow figure standing at the end of the hall from where they just came. This leader was more than pleased that it was just one person trying to claim their territory.

"Listen, douche-bag, you're pretty stupid to challenge all of us. We're five, and you're one. So if you just run along, I'll pretend like I never saw you and we can avoid any trouble. Sound good?"he said, but there came no response from the shadow figure. He started to get annoyed.

"Hey, come on asshole! You wanna fight!? Let's fight then!" he shouted, but the figure still didn't respond or move. He shrugged. "Have it your way."

Just as they were about to charge at the figure and pummel it, it moved into the light, revealing a girl with a beautiful, porcelain face, green/brown eyes, and a slim figure with large breasts and large hips. She was wearing a neat, clean white uniform, and in one hand was a book bag; the other hand held a cellphone.

The boys all started to cheer and catcall her, but the girl didn't seem to notice. Instead, she took a step forward. "I thought I said..." she began, and the boys stopped to look oddly at each other when the girl's appearance changed. Her face twisted horribly; her jaw was almost falling off as it was hanging by a few threads of skin. A long, lizard-like tongue hung from between her sharp, jagged teeth, and her eyes had turned black and sunken in. Chunks of her flesh were missing all other her body, and her uniform was now torn and covered in blood and pieces of flesh. "...GET OUT!" she finished her sentence as she lunged at them, and the boys ran out like their mother was chasing them, screaming and some crying.

The girl glitched for a second before she was back to her first appearance, innocent but seductive. She repeated herself once more before turning back to her horrific state, and Shinji kicked the projector. "Aah, stupid piece of junk! Whatever," he said, and turned it off. The girl disappeared, and he looked outside the window to see the boys flee into the woods. "Next time we're going to my house!"

Shinji burst into laughter, nearly falling over. This definitely made his day.

* * *

Shinji drove steadily down the highway, the Tomsize remix of Twenty One Pilots' _Stressed Out_ blaring through the speakers as he floored the gas pedal and maxed out the speedometer. He looked out to where NERV once stood under the city, and a scoff escaped his lips before he looked back forward and evaded abandoned cars on the highway.

* * *

Shinji stretched as he kicked the door into the house closed; it slid and clicked the lock firmly into place. Shinji set his glock up on the wall with the numerous other guns he had, and he opened one of the dresser drawers below the guns to put the extra bullets away properly. Pen Pen greeted him from the kitchen where he had one of Misato's favorite beers in one hand and the TV remote in the other.

"Geez, dude, do you do anything else but drink all Misato's beer and watch TV? Didn't I bring you a friend to socialize with?" Shinji asked, and Pen Pen looked over at the plush penguin before looking back at Shinji with an almost offended look. Shinji raised his hands in the air. "What? Do you want me to go to Antarctica and get you an actual friend? Cause I have news for you. Unless you can find a private jet or something that I know how to hot-wire, it's not happening," he said as he walked over to the computer. It was flashing a little blue light, and Shinji looked at Pen Pen, who was currently waddling out of the room. "Hey! Wait! Why didn't you tell me I have mail!? Yo! Pen Pen! Eh, whatever. Screw you too."

Shinji opened the computer and checked the email, but what he saw, he never could've prepared himself for in a million years.

* * *

"Computer, online. Systems check. Are we clear? Good. Unlock that for me. Thank you," a slim, pale, white haired figure lay back in his seat as he watched main computer opened and worked itself. He'd managed to find an abandoned American space station and hack it so, at first, he could get back home to earth, but he'd long-since given that up since the Americans had shut down NASA and left their dozens of billion-dollar spacecrafts floating around in the void that is outer space.

Now all he wanted was to stay alive up here. He had found about 7 years' worth of food for eight astronauts, so he was fine for a while. He had plenty of supplies in the space station to make a house out of it for the rest of his life, and he had more than enough to do on this fancy computer they left here. Power was coming from the turbines and power transformers they built to collect electricity from wind currents, and there were dozens upon dozens of solar panels collecting power from the sun. Of course, having been created by SEELE and living on the moon all those years, he didn't need oxygen to survive, so it wasn't a problem that the door to the station had been pressure-blasted off and there was no oxygen.

He'd been fine, too; actually, not really in at first. He'd been badly injured in the collision of the EVA with the meteor and the moon and he hadn't the resources to be able to heal himself in the EVA, so he'd gotten quite a few infections. His skin was badly burned, he had everything from bruises to welts on his skin and he'd had more than enough internal injuries to match the the level of sanity he had left.

Well...he couldn't say much for how insane he'd gone from isolation. He was manipulating the computer to turn anything into a game or a way to pass the time. He'd been filling up video log after video log and he'd been writing anything and everything that came to mind, but still, 3 1/2 years in a space station with nothing but a busted computer was not much for helping to pass the time. He'd heard that back on earth when criminals went to jail, they passed the time by simply working out every chance they had free time, but he wasn't one to do much of that. He wasn't lazy, he just...yeah, he's pretty lazy.

A small ding surprised Kaworu almost out of his seat. He checked the computer to find NASA had left an active message for him. It was an automatic thing sent every couple months to make sure everything was working properly as it was supposed to. Kaworu sat up. If NASA could sent him messages in-going...could he send them outgoing..?

* * *

Kaworu silently cursed to himself as he fiddled with the seat-belt in the EVA pilot seat. The damn thing had burned into his lap just fine, but when it came to actually being used for what it's designed for, it was absolutely useless.

Finally, with a good yank, the seat-belt tore and Kaworu laughed mockingly at the EVA until part of the roof collapsed on him and he nearly fell out of it trying to dodge the falling debris.

Kaworu went back inside the space station and grabbed the hot glue gun he'd left on the table after attempting(and failing) to stitch his pilot uniform into clothing again, but most of that had burned into his skin as well, so he'd given up after much swearing and throwing of much-needed computer hardware.

With a lot of difficulty, Kaworu managed to glue the torn pieces of fabric together and place securely around his waist like a belt. "Well, it'll hold, but not very well," he said to himself, and he wiggled the belt off. Kaworu then let out a loud string of curses as he saw the bottle of industrial glue sitting on the desk next to where he'd placed the belt.

* * *

Kaworu secured the horse-rope to the remains of the door hinge on the outside of the space station, and gave it a good couple of yanks to make sure it would stay in place properly. The hinge refused to give, and Kaworu carefully proceeded to tightly secure the rope to the metal clamp on the seat-belt around his waist.

In about 3 minutes, a satellite was supposed to float around towards the space station, and if he wanted to be able to send out messages, or use any kind of signal at all, he needed that satellite.

Kaworu ran out and jumped up towards the slowly moving satellite until he came in reach. He pulled it closer, and unclipped the seat-belt around his waist, securing it instead to the satellite. With as best a grip as he could keep, he used the rope to guide himself back down to the space station, and once he was on the ground, used the rope to pull the satellite down with him.

"Well," he began to himself as he popped open the side panel, "this went better than I thought it would. Thank you, America."

Kaworu went back inside the station and tried to pull the lever to open the back panel to the computer, but it had rusted in place. "Okay, then. Challenge accepted," he said; Kaworu jumped up and barely grabbed the pipe running parallel to the ceiling. He swung around on it a bit to make sure it was strong enough to hold his weight, and once he deemed it safe, he kicked the lever as hard as he could until the top snapped off and it jammed into place.

With a loud hissing sound and a thunderous crash, the back panel to the computer fell off, and Kaworu let out an exasperated sigh. He was not excited for the next part.

After more than his fair share of swears and getting electrocuted, Kaworu successfully connected the satellite to the computer. He collapsed into the roll-y chair in front of the computer and tried to hack into the satellite to use the signal. The computer screeched and glitched with the attempts, and afraid of completely destroying the computer and ruining his chances of ever having any hope of even turning it on ever again, Kaworu gave up and leaned back in his chair. He glared at the satellite until he noticed the Ethernet port below the motherboard.

Kaworu screamed.

* * *

Kaworu slipped the other end of the Ethernet cable into the port on the computer, and finally, the computer was able to get an internet signal. Finally...

He opened the email and put in Shinji's address. What was he going to tell the other pilot after all this mess..? He couldn't say anything as himself. He couldn't hardly confront Shinji, but he couldn't do this without Shinji's help.

He sent out a few test messages to different NASA emails first, and after confirmation of an error message, he knew it would work. Finally.

Finally...

He's going home.

* * *

Shinji opened the computer and checked the email, but what he saw, he never could've prepared himself for in a million years. He couldn't believe what he was reading.

'Kaworu's alive.'


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: You know, I recently had one guest review on here that said 'lame and out of order plot'. Yeah, okay. You know who you can take that up with? My lawyer. He lives up your ass and around the corner. Make sure to say hi to my foot while you're up there. I don't give a damn and a half what you have to say if you're so illiterate that you can't give me a proper review of the story. What exactly made it 'out of order'? Nothing about it is 'out of order', and if you think so, then you better go back to school because both my English major friends helped me revise this story and we went over it a dozen times before it was posted. So before you open your dumb ass mouth, take a half a second to think about what you're going to say so you don't sound stupid when you say it.  
Nobody reads these damn author's notes I swear...**

 **So I did a little bit of research on Misato's car, the blue Alpine A310 from France. Apparently, the IIHS doesn't have a crash test rating on it since the car was only produced from 1971-1984, and Neon Genesis(the original) takes place in modern day but was made in 1984(why would a woman living in 2015 have a car from the bloody 80's?(as Shinji was born in 2001 and is 14 years old(meaning Shinji is now 15 years old))) which means of course the IIHS ins't going to have a crash rating on it. I did discover, however, that these things were built by taking a bunch of pieces from a bunch of different luxury cars like the (1973)Peugeot 504 and the (1980) Renault 5 Turbo. It was also built with the car engine and mechanics in the back, which means, in order to protect the passengers from being flattened like pancakes if the car was rear-ended, the back plating of the car is pure 100% tubular steel(like a Mercedes Benz) while the rest of the car is mostly one giant piece of fiberglass shell; aside from the black plastic rear spoiler which was designed to keep the car down(meaning this car was designed against German engineers Audi, Mercedes Benz(which is now owned by Chrysler), and BMW to race on the Audobon and just to race in general. The French had a hard time accepting German engineered cars were the best.). Overall, while it is a car designed for racing, if it were to get into a nasty accident, like say...head to head with a bus, the passengers would suffer about the same if they were in something like a Honda, or a Toyota, or a Chevy(even though Toyota barely has the higher IIHS rating of the three. Chevy Malibu ranks in at just below Toyota Camry and Honda Civic, believe it or not. The automatic braking system in a Malibu has not been tested yet, so don't let them tell you otherwise.), which would mean they would have bruising from seatbelt and airbag deployment, whiplash, possibly broken nose, broken wrists(if they tried to brace out for impact which that is worse than just staying still), broken ribs, broken neck, broken back, broken collarbone, and head injuries.**

 **This car is considered a sports car because of its' design, and it took an average of around 130 hours to build. So if you ever see one of these dudes just laying around, remember to mention to the owner that their car took an average of 130 hours to build and that's why it's so nice and expensive. Could you imagine? 130 hours...that's almost a week...**

 **Haha, I called FFN a dick in the first chapter.**

 **Okay, I got too excited. I'm gonna shut up now.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Warning: blood, gore, violence, language, drowning, irresponsible driving(DO NOT DO THIS AT HOME), death, cannibalism, car crashes, electrocution, intense detail of pain**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion, Evangelion, or any of the characters. Those belong to Hideaki Anno respectfully. Any characters mentioned not from the anime are my own put into the story for the sake of the plot.**

* * *

 _If you had one chance_

 _To seize everything you ever wanted_

 _Would you capture it?_

 _Or just let it slip?_

 _Tell me what you know about dreams._

* * *

Shinji stared blankly at his computer screen. He'd been sitting at the same light for three rotations now, unable to find himself moving from this moment. He couldn't remember how he'd gotten this far-he remembered that he'd called up one of his old high school buddies to meet him at Nerv, and he remembered grabbing his laptop...but he couldn't remember how he got where he was.

If he had a nickel for every time _that_ happened to him...

Flashes of that day with Kaworu came to mind, making him grow solemn. Shinji had tried everything for 3 1/2 years to get those images and memories to fade out of his mind, but they wouldn't leave; they were there and fresh as the day it all happened.

A loud honk from a bus behind him startled him out of his daydreaming, and without even realizing the light in front of him was still red, Shinji accelerated, only to feel a sharp jerk and a the rude smashing of metal against metal a half-second later.

* * *

 _Asuka ran as fast as she could in her tight, obnoxious school uniform through the hospital halls. The damn uniform was such a hassle to get on and off, even at the biggest size she could wear without it sitting baggy and disgusting-looking on her body. Her skirt bounced and flowed with her movement; her breath escaped her lips in short, out-of-breath huffs._

 _Asuka slid to a stop and with the help of the door jam, strode right into Shinji's room where the brunette was staring blankly at the ceiling. "You idiot," she panted softly, "I was damned worried. What the hell were you thinking, stealing that car!? You're lucky the owner isn't pressing charges or anything because of who you are! I have half a mind to beat you stupid if the sight or even the thought of you hurt didn't make me sick to my stomach!"_

 _Shinji didn't respond, continuing to stare at the ceiling. Asuka grew enraged and beat him with one of his own pillows._

 _"Answer me you jackass!" she snapped, and Shinji raised his hands over his head to defend himself. "Ow! What the fuck!?"_

 _"What the hell were you thinking!? The police said you just ran the red light! Did you look!? Were you even paying attention!? What were you thinking!? You're lucky you're alive! You should see what that truck did to the car you were driving! There's hardly anything left of it and you're walking away, Shinji!"_

 _"I hardly call having a concussion and two broken ribs walking away."_

 _"You're stupid. Why did you do that?"_

 _Shinji was silent for a moment. His response after hardly shocked Asuka. "I was trying to kill myself. Obviously next time, I should go head to side with a bigger truck," he answered, and Asuka punched him lightly in the arm._

 _"Ow!" Shinji hissed as he rubbed his arm. "Jesus Christ Asuka I'm still hurt. You mind saving the beating me up for later?" He froze in shock and pain when Asuka threw her arms around him and nearly crushed the rest of his ribs. "We'll rent a semi," she joked tearfully, and Shinji smiled. "Biggest semi we can find," he said, "with motorcycles in the cargo lift for extra coolness factor." Asuka tried to laugh, but it came out as a choked sob. "You dork," she said, and the rest of their hug was spent in silence._

* * *

"You're very lucky to be alive," the doctor that was cleaning up Shinji's wounds said. "And you're even luckier you got away with a couple cuts and bruises. I've seen cases where people don't ever open their eyes again."

Shinji sighed. "I need to know if the car's gonna be okay to work," he said, and the doctor turned to look at the two mechanics currently checking the damaged '84 Alpine A310. Shinji followed the doctor's eyes. From the looks of it, the car was going to be just fine, with a few dings here and there. It was already mostly taped together at the back black plastic fender from Misato's numerous 'I got too close to an EVA fight'.

"I think it's gonna be fine," the doctor said with a smile, "she'll be perfectly operable. How long have you had it?"

How could Shinji answer that? He couldn't even begin to explain to anyone about anything that had happened...

"As long as we've been living like this," Shinji answered, "I found it abandoned on the side of the mountains with the keys still inside. Whoever owned it before must've ditched it."

When the doctor seemed satisfied with his answer, Shinji thanked him and got up. He was truly lucky he survived this, right? Right. Who doesn't love living in an apocalypse?

Then he remembered the message from Kaworu. The reason this had happened. He knew what he had to do.

* * *

"Yo, what took you forever, man?" Kensuke asked as he slipped in the car with Shinji. Shinji sighed. "Wait until you see the driver's side of the car and you'll figure it out," he responded, and Kensuke started to panic. "Dude! What in the world did you do to this poor-"

"Relax, I got some mechanics on it. It's gonna be fine. It's just a really long story."

"Well, I hope it still drives fine."

"Yeah, sure..."

"What was that?"

"What?"

"That insecurity in your voice."

"Nothing."

"Is this the same nothing that left us stranded in the middle of th-"

"No now relax and listen to some music."

* * *

Shinji plopped in the chair next to the neon Dr. Pepper clock and the deep yellow grease stain that nearly melted the wall and he cracked another ramune open. Kensuke was busy rereading the email Shinji'd received with the most speechless look on his face.

"You gonna say something anytime soon?" Shinji asked, and Kensuke nearly choked on his words.

"Shinji...how...how have you not...if I found out the love of my life was alive and well somewhere after watching them literally explode, I-I...I'd be beyond myself. I would probably go ballistic," Kensuke replied, but Shinji seemed less than satisfied with the response.

God he was turning more and more into his father every day.

"That's why I need your help," Shinji spoke after a quiet minute of contemplating his words so as not to sound like his father, "because I don't know if this is even really him. It could be some...some cruel joke by some stupid kids that know my name and what happened...I just...track it first. Track the IP address. I need to be sure first."

* * *

Kaworu's legs dangled as he held on securely to the straps keeping him from dropping 40 feet to his death of shaggy, rugged moon rocks. Of course he was only stuck up there because the stupid computer had crashed while he was trying to make a comm for the computer (just so he would have an easier time working with it now that it was up and running properly) and of course it was 40 feet above some killer rocks so he had to use burnt, unsafe Eva chair covers that can rip at any moment to hold him up while he works on a damaged system that could electrocute him to death.

Sweet.

Kaworu popped open the lid to the control panel and groaned.

It had been completely blown out.

* * *

Shinji floored the accelerator angrily. He couldn't believe it. It was an IP address that had been long since shut down and lost, so even if they found it, it was gone before they could do anything about the problem. Stupid kids...they did this...

 _Shinji couldn't hold back the tears pouring down his cheeks. He had just come so close to losing Kaworu...if it was this easy to lose something, what if Rei hadn't been there to save them both next time? And he'd just stood there and flaked while he watched Kaworu nearly get incinerated by an angel. He didn't do anything..._

 _Such a thought made Shinji burrow further in Kaworu's chest. He felt like a child at best, but he didn't care. He owed Rei so much...Kaworu was right here and safe, asleep in his arms; or so Shinji thought._

 _What he didn't know was Kaworu was wide awake and staring intensely at the ceiling as he took note of Shinji's internal struggle and external tussle with the sheets._

Shinji slammed on the brakes and the car locked into a screeching halt just hard enough left so Shinji could take the hard turn to the right. Red and blue flashed in his rearview mirror and Shinji let out a soft swear before he pulled over to what was left of the curb.

"What can I do you for this fine afternoon, officer?" Shinji asked with a smug look on his face. The cop looked less than pleased. "License and registration, please," he said, and Shinji sucked a sharp breath in through his teeth.

"Ooh, yeah, see, that's going to be a problem, because..." Shinji popped the gear back into drive and slammed on the gas pedal to get as far away from the officer as possible. He could hear the protests over speakers and the sound of sirens blaring fade out in the distance as he quickly lost the multiple cars that had quickly accumulated.

Shinji shook his head in anger. He tried to force the memories back, shove them deep into the recesses of his mind, but they surface anyway.

 _Shinji smiled as the warmth of the spring sun basked his cheek in a golden glow and surfaced a freckle or two from the exposure. He was laying comfortably next to Kaworu in their favorite spot at the park under the trees. They were so tired from all the constant rounds, all the school, and studying for midterms...it was becoming too much and Shinji had suggested they come to relax and unwind and Shinji and Kaworu both couldn't've been more happy with their decision._

 _Or so they thought._

 _Shinji yawned lazily when two men in blue approached them from behind. Both boys immediately sat up and Kaworu was the first to speak. "Is there a problem, officers?" he asked, and the man on the left tilted his head menacingly at Kaworu. "I'll say," his partner responded, "you boys aren't allowed on this grass. Didn't you see the sign?"_

 _Shinji looked around to see children playing on the grass just a ways away and another family picnicking even closer by, but the officers hadn't seemed to be bothered by them. Then Shinji understood._

 _"They're on the grass too. But you're not going to say anything because you're a couple of homophobic pig-" Shinji began, but Kaworu cut him off by clapping a hand over his mouth._

 _"We're terribly sorry, officers. We'll move right away," Kaworu said with the most fake of smiles that he could muster, and the men were gone and on their way. Shinji noticed the mother of the family staring awkwardly here and there, and he couldn't take it anymore._

 _Shinji marched up to the woman and nearly snapped. "Something terribly wrong about me laying in the grass with a friend to you!?" he demanded, and the man was the one to reply._

 _"There are children here and people are trying to eat. You can take your 'friend' and go do that somewhere else, okay, kid?" he said, and Shinji lost it. Kaworu grabbed the brunette to keep him from doing something irrational (like fighting the man that was clearly 3x Shinji's size) and pulled him away. "Yeah that's what I thought. Take your AIDS away from my kids."_

 _Kaworu stopped dead in his tracks and grinned widely. The cops had been watching and walked back up, addressing the man. "Is there a problem here, sir?" one asked, and the man started to respond, but Kaworu interrupted._

 _"In fact officers," he began as he turned around to face the two, "there is. I think we have a problem. There's AIDS all over this family." Kaworu spat sharply at the father as he continued. "And I think they need to be cleansed thoroughly of such filth."_

 _The officers immediately handcuffed both Shinji and Kaworu and it took a stern talking-to to the station and a lot of "you're dead" looks from Misato later to get them safely back home. Shinji had decided from then on that the police weren't worth a second thought if any of them were like the ones they met today..._

Now Shinji believed they were all pigs and didn't deserve such titles only to disrespect and abuse their power.

Mostly.

* * *

Kaworu watched the screen with wide, heartbroken eyes. Shinji had disregarded the message completely. He didn't care about Kaworu anymore, or he'd moved on and found someone else or something...he hadn't even tried to consider the possibility that it really was him and not some prank...

Kaworu buried his face in his hands. How could he possibly get back home now? Why would he even want to go back now? He was stuck forever with a stupid computer that barely told the time without glitching and crashing.

And normally Kaworu would find his own predicament amusing, except...he didn't feel much like laughing right now.

He slammed his fists against the desk, making the makeshift cup of water fall over and spill all over the main controls, frying the panel. Kaworu swore not so softly and reached to clean it up until he realized he still had the comm on and the current rushed up his arm and into the magnetic points at his temple. Kaworu swore again as he was fairly badly electrocuted and he threw the comm off, still shuddering and twitching occasionally from the zapping. He could smell smoke and his vision grew dangerously blurred as his head stung and stung...

Kaworu instinctively raised his hand up to the wound and checked for blood, but his vision was getting too fuzzy and making him too dizzy to determine for sure if the blood on his hand was fresh or had been caked on from previous wounds. He stumbled down the hall, hitting it and knocking nearby boxes or tools around and spilling the contents of the boxes. His head started to throb and give him such burning grief, he couldn't think clearly about anything other than Shinji had abandoned him...he had been left like a kitten in the cold for some good Samaritan to pick up with a "free kittens" sign glued to his chest. Except his chest felt tight and it was restricting him from being able to breathe.

Kaworu finally collapsed on the floor, unable to move from the pain. He was reminded suddenly of all the searing pain he felt during the impact of the meteor and the moon...so electrocution apparently felt like that, comparably...

Black started to creep in the corners of his eyes and he welcomed the dark relief of pain momentarily. Kaworu's last thoughts raced through his head.

 _Shinji...how could you..?_

* * *

"How in the actual fuck do I do this?" Shinji wheezed out. Kensuke had referred him to someone that could help him find out more about the message and about Kaworu, but Shinji was struggling with his own shock.

He wanted to throw up, to cry, to scream, to break something, or break down...to kill himself and just be done with everything...but if Kaworu was really still alive, Shinji was his only hope at getting home.

Shinji took a deep breath to collect himself and went up to the rutty apartment. water was still leaking from areas where it had badly damaged the apartment walls and framing, and the door was a cardboard sheet at best to protect from the light or to protect the privacy of the residents within. Whoever was crazy enough to live here.

Shinji felt his chest grow heavier and what seemed like lava churned in his chest and stomach making him sick with anxiety, but he mustered everything he could to force himself to knock, and when the owner finally answered, Shinji couldn't hardly believe his own eyes.

"No way, i-it's you..."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: You know, I think I actually forgot how to work FFN because it's been so long since I logged on and actually posted anything. I am still writing because I am extremely tired and it's 3:04am-HOLY SHIT IT IS 3:04 IN THE MORNING I NEED TO GET TO SLEE-ah, fuck it I'll sleep in tomorrow.**

 **Anyway, last time we left off on here, I was raggy at best and distraught with my life. Since I've gotten things figured out, I have now more will and time to do things like this again! Thus my return! I hope this gets better. I need to force myself to speed up the plot a little bit more I think.**

 **Okay short and sweet. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion it belongs to Hid-fuck. I know this. Uhm...Hideaki Anno...yeah. Him. That guy own this and anything else used that doesn't sound familiar is me putting in characters for the sake of the plot.**

 **Warning: blood, gore, graphic scenery, graphic sickness, weak male on male action**

* * *

 _There's an energy,_

 _When you hold me,_

 _When you touch me,_

 _It's so Powerful._

 _You could be the greatest, you could be the best._

* * *

Shinji couldn't believe his eyes.

"I-it's really you..."

Shinji eyed Rei with tears daring to escape and he quickly followed her inside. The inside of the apartment building looked severely worse than the oustide. Light leaked in from where thin wood boards were so badly rotting they could fall off with a good yank. Water dripped from the ceileing everywhere. Mold and black algae was building up everywhere and eating the floors and corners away slowly, and the wolf spiders started to make themselves at home again. There was hardly a stable place to walk or set foot near without anything nearly collapsing in under the weight and Shinji was worried for Rei instantly. Of course...he was lucky she was still open to talking to him after he abandoned everyone at Nerv like a coward again...

"R-Rei, I-I...it's Kaworu. I think. Someone sent me a message saying that he's alive still somewh-"

"Do you believe them?" Rei interrupted, and Shinji shrugged slowly. "I-I...I don't know honestly. we've just...I don't know. I want to believe it's possible he survived."

"Okay. Good. That's important. Now, about this rescuing situation-"

"Rescuing? But we're not even sure it's him!"

"Shinji. Do you think it's him?"

"Y-...yes."

"Then we need a rescue plan."

* * *

"This will never in a million years work. None of us even know how to build an Eva or work with an Eva other than how to pilot it!" Shinji exclaimed as Rei led him down a secret pass into what was left of Nerv. "You think too much about things," she replied, and Shinji was taken a bit aback as Rei moved forward through an opening.

"Here! Found it. Come on." Rei called for Shinji as the brunette continued his rant.

"Furthermore," he said, "Eva's last five minutes off of their cords. Kaworu taught us even less when pushed to do too much at once. And these things weren't designed to go into outer space. How will we know it'll work for sure?" He said, and Rei turned.

"We won't," she replied, "but how will we know if we never try?"

Shinji knew she was right, but it did sound utterly insane...

Then Rei asked a question that sounded even more insane.

"What about a real rocket designed to go into space then?"

Like they definitely knew how to pilot one of those.

* * *

"This is stupid," Shinji began, "I hope you know that. It will never work. These rockets were made purely as multi-billion dollar prototypes to look pretty on NASA's front yard. All that's in them is plastic, bells and whistles. Literally."

Rei concentrate on the entry code for a minute before sh finally responded to Shinji. "Yeah, and NASA is dead along with 93% of the world. Your point?"

"My point is not whether they are going to care or not. My point is how are we going to work these rockets if they were never designed with half the stuff we need to operate them?"

"Simple. We don't. Somebody stays here on Earth to operate the system from the computer base. All we need to do is sync the computers via Bluetooth on the computer, which shouldn't be hard, then configure the computers and reboot them so that we can reprogram the course of flight without needing an access code from a NASA scientist. The only problem is getting into that computer room. The security system will never let us in."

"That's what you're worried about? A security system that's probably long since been broken and doesn't even work properly anymore!? How about us blowing up in outer space the second we hit the first atmosphere!? Our EVA suits would never withstand that and they don't have the equipment for that here; its long-since gone."

"Shinji, shut the fuck up you worry-wart."

"See, now, it's comments like that that make me a worry-wart."

"I swear you're such a nerd sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

"Yes. And the rest of the time, you're asleep or doing something stupid like injuring yourself. Don't think I didn't see the news or the bandages."

"You know what? Fuck off. Who's the worry-wart now?"

"Tch. Who said I gave two shits about your rat-ass life?"

A flick of Rei's wrist and the security was down; the front door to NASA's labs slid open with a click and a soft hiss. Rei gave Shinji a demeaning look to which Shinji retaliated by blowing raspberries at her, and the two were inside NASA's labs and on the hunt for the computer labs.

"This is fucking insane, Rei, I want to go home," Shinji begged, "please, I can't do this by myself."

"You can and you will," Rei replied cooly as she finished connecting one of the prototype rockets to the main computers.

Shinji wanted to kill himself right about now.

"Why can't you go? I can stay here and-"

"I'm gonna give you three good reasons why I can't go," Rei interrupted, "first off, your pea brain can't begin to comprehend how complicated maneuvering a spacecraft from a computer is. You would freeze under the pressure and kill me, or you would blow the ship up and kill me. Second, I can't reason with Kaworu like you can. He's your boyfriend, not mine. And anyway, he never very-well liked me. Thirdly, he sent that message to YOU of all people. I'm pretty sure that means he wants you and nobody else to go rescue him, Shinji. Now get in the fucking ship, shithead."

Shinji thought for a minute. Rei had a really valid point, and even if she did go and found Kaworu, would she be able to mentally stand to see what might be left of Kaworu?

It's Rei. Of course she will.

Wait...could Shinji..?

Would Shinji himself be able to take whatever sight would be Kaworu? If he looked any less or any different, Shinji might break down and have another episode...then he DEFINITELY wouldn't be able to complete the mission. No, no he can't do this. There's too much that could go wrong. He can't do this on his own.

"I-I can't, Rei. I really can't this time. I know I say that every time you guys would make me pilot the EVAs back in the day, but...this is different. This time I really really can't. Pleas don't make me..." Shinji said with a whimper, and when Rei saw him start to take a couple steps back, she thought he might run.

"Okay. I know this is really scary for you. It's different from piloting an EVA and fighting an angel. I understand. But think about it this way: this time, you're not alone. I am going to be right beside you the entire time. Okay? I'll set the computer to autopilot and I'll go in the rocket with you. Every pilot needs a copilot anyway, right?" She offered, and Shinji visibly calmed.

Shinji took a deep breath in. Okay...he can work with this.

"Okay. I'll do it. But I still don't know what we're going to use to protect us from the cold and the lack of oxygen in space," he said, and Rei smiled. "Leave that to me."

* * *

"I still don't know. This feels a little...weird. Like...is it supposed to feel this...loose and breezy..?" Shinji asked as he pulled uncomfortably at the spacesuit. Rei frowned at him. "Breezy..? Shinji...are you wearing anything underneath that suit!?" She asked, and Shinji's eyes grew wide.

"Maybe...no," he answered, and Rei groaned in disgust.

"Just get in the fucking rocket Cochino(nasty/gross)."

"Don't get all big and fancy vocabulary with me."

"Move it stupid."

Shinji nervously made his way up the ladder to the pit of the rocket. Even with Rei going, this all seemed so...scary. What was he going to say to Kaworu as soon as they got there? What would Kaworu say to him? Would Kaworu forgive him for letting him rot up there all alone for nearly 4 years?

Then, Rei did the absolute unthinkable to Shinji.

She shoved him in the pit and broke the door handle from the outside.

Shinji started to panic and bang on the door, screaming for her.

"You liar! You said you wouldn't leave me! You promised me you would go with me! Do you realize what I'm getting into!? Open the door!" He shouted, but Rei ignored his protests. Instead, she quickly made her way back to the computer lab and started the rocket launch.

"I'm sorry Shinji."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Okay I gotta talk about this. This was hilarious.**

 **So I'm having a conversation with a friend about Neon Genesis, and I mention that I'm not a fan of Asuka's. We banter back and forth a little about why I don't like her, and en it came up that she doesn't speak real German. So this chick tries to show me, a German studies student, this gibberish that doesn't even make sense, and then she says, "mensch means man or young man in German and she said that in the show. It's real German." And I was like wait...WHAT!?**

 **I was rolling on the floor laughing...**

 **For those of you that speak German or even grew up watching The Nanny, you know that mensch does not in fact mean man or young man in German, because it's not German, it's the Jewish word for man. The German word for man is Herr, and the German word for young man is jüngen. I told her this, and she was so embarrassed she left the chat. I felt a little bad because it wasn't her fault, it was the people that provided her with this information's fault, but still...she should've checked her facts.**

 **But now I'm curious. She cited the part where Asuka was supposedly speaking in German and said that word 'mensch', so I wonder if maybe Asuka's a Jewish German? But then if she was, she would speak solely Hebrew or solely** **German, not both combined in one sentence at a time, right? So I don't understand how Jewish words got in there...not all Germans like Jews and A** **suka definitely strikes me as someone who doesn't like anyone, so...**

 **Also, because I don't have my laptop(I moved 400 miles away from home just to have realized when I finally sat down that I packed the wrong laptop) I am using an iPad and it won't let me do half the edits I normally do, so I will edit when I get that back. For now, here is the story unedited!**

 **Final chapter!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion or Evangelion or any of the characters of NGE or Evangelion. Those belong to Hidaeki Anno respectfully. Any nameless or unfamiliar characters are mine and placed for the sake of the story.**

 **Warning: language, gore, violence, sickness, burned skin**

* * *

Where are you now? I found you

My fantasy, I'm glad to see,

Where are you now?

I'm not a dream,

I'm faded, so lost, I'm faded.

"Okay Rei you had your fun! Seriously! Let me out! I can't do this...I can't..." Shinji clutched his chest. He could feel another panic attack coming along, but the very last thing he wanted was to spaz out inside a rocket that was about to launch off to the moon in fifteen seconds. Wait...what!?

"T-minus twelve seconds to launch."

"Shit...fuck...stop! Cancel! Delete! Abort mission! Delete! Come on you stupid thing!" Shinji snapped at the pilot controls, kicking them. Rei's voice suddenly came in.

"Shinji if you don't want this thing to explode when it comes in contact with the ozone layer I highly suggest you cut that out," she said through the radio system, and Shinji froze. Small, balled fists slammed against the controls. "Fuck you and you're fucking ozone layer! You traitor! You lied to me!" He shouted back at her, and Rei was silent for a moment to let him catch his breath.

"You done being a bitch? Good. Listen up. You have to do this. You have to face him. It'll be no different from any other time. There is no reason to panic. It'd be illogical."

"Gee, thanks, Spock. Why don't you go fuck yourself you emotionless dildo?"

"That would also be illogical as dildos do not have reproductive systems. Now sit back or this is going to hurt."

Shinji felt like the very ground underneath him was going to explode as a rumbling that could make an earthquake crawl back in its' hole in fear shook his body and pierced his ears. Warmth dripped down Shinji's neck and he could feel it spreading and soaking his spacesuit from underneath his bandages.

Pain and pressure took over his body, and suddenly, the force was too much for him. Shinji was unconscious before the darkness swallowed the rocket whole.

I want in,

I want in,

I want in...

Jaguar trap!

I never...

"Wo bist mein karte(where is my card)!?" Asuka screamed as she dug through her bag for it. Students eyed her oddly as they walked by catiously to avoid getting caught in the hellfire rain that was Asuka's fury. Kaworu calmly walked up to Asuka, and some of the other students gasped, watching his surely inevitable end as he dared get close enough for her to send him flying into he wall.

"What do YOU want, Nagisa?" She demanded, and Kaworu held up her NERV passcard. Asuka snatched it from him with an almost inaudible "thank you nerd" and Kaworu grinned in satisfaction.

"What was that, Asuka? I don't quite think I heard you."

"THANK YOU ASSHOLE!" She screamed loud enough to make a deaf person hear, and all the other students but Kaworu went scrambling. Kaworu was more than amused at this point, so he turned to take his leave.

"Hey wait a minute, Coke Bear, where are you going?" She asked, and Kaworu grinned wider. "To share the love," he replied simply, and with that, he disappeared around the corner.

Monster,

How should I feel?

Creatures lay here,

Looking through the window.

Set and matched again.

Shinji heard faint tapping just outside on his car window, but he wasn't ready to get up. He rolled a bit in his seat, gripping for the leather peeling off the seat on the side of the driver's, but it wasn't there. Instead there was s handle in its place.

Shinji jolted awake at the unfamiliar object under his touch, breathing heavily. Then he remembered. He had been ditched and launched into space by Rei.

Shinji looked around for a bit to take in his surroundings. Not much was here except what was left of the rocket that had apparently crash-landed and was in half. He was thanking Rei a moment later for securing the back.

He took a careful examination of the windshield. Just a minor crack, but still a big deal if it doesn't get taken care of...

A distant scream brought Shinji back to his senses. He grabbed the modified gas mask that covered half his face and broke open the door Rei had locked shut on him; with a swing down he was on the ground and running towards the sound, one thing on his mind.

Kaworu.

I'm delirious.

Two am and she's calling me; I'm still awake

Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?

I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season.

And breathe...just breathe.

Shinji looked around curiously and out of breath as he stepped into what looked like a ship turned into a house. But he couldn't believe the amount of destruction when he walked into the computer room.

Wires and cords had been strewn from the still-crackling motherboard; a pipe that had been sitting above the screen was releasing steam onto the melting monitor and Shinji had to steer clear not to get burned. He tripped for a second over something small and melted on the ground, and when he looked closer, it was a comm that appeared to have been exploded by a burst of energy and was still surging.

Shinji examined the floor warily, and found a trail of blood leading to what looked like a makeshift bed, and he recognized the rotting stench of LCL.

An EVA pilot chair had been used for the bed, and what was burned into it made Shinji cry out in horror.

Human flesh stuck to the chair, burned in and caked with fresh and old blood. Kaworu couldn't possibly still be alive.

Shinji collapsed to his knees, falling on something rather warm, soft and...and comfortable...

"Fuck..." A voice groaned, and Shinji jolted upright. Underneath him lay a badly malnutrition'd Kaworu; areas of his body and skin burned to a crisp and peeling or bright pink and infected from attempting to heal. Shinji wanted to hug the other more than he'd ever wanted anything, but he knew how much Kaworu must be hurting.

"Kaworu! Please tell me you're mostly okay..." Shinji said, but Kaworu didn't respond directly to him; muttering nonsense instead. Kaworu seemed beyond capable of answering or understanding Shinji.

The brunette gently tried to pick Kaworu up, but gave up when the other whimpered in pain. How were they supposed to get home?

"I'm so sorry, Kaworu," Shinji said, and he picked Kaworu up again. The white haired pilot cried out in pain and whimpered as Shinji carried him as gently as he could to the gurney he saw in the hall.

Kaworu was going to be fine.

They were safe and together.

All I have in life is my new appetite for failure;

And I got hunger pains that go insane-tell me, do that sound familiar?

If it do then you're like me.

Making the excuse that your relief is in the bottom of a bottle and the green is in your leaf.

As the window open, I release everything that corrodes inside of me,

I see you joking, why you laugh?

Don't you feel bad? I'll probably sleep and never ever wake up,

Never ever wake up,

Never ever wake up, in God I trust,

But just when I thought I had enough

Rei worriedly raced Shinji in the gurney down to the medical bay, hoping he didn't bleed out on the way in. The brunette had been out for some time, and was muttering and mumbling to himself unintelligently.

"Shinji wake up! Stay with me! Don't you dare pass out again!" She shouted, and she grabbed as much gauze as she could to immediately start bandaging Shinji up. "What did you do, you idiot!?"

It's much easier to run,

It's so much easier to go,

Than feel all this pain,

You're all alone.

Shinji lazily reached over for Kaworu, but the bed space next to him was empty. He sat up. "Hello..? Ugh. Great. Alone in a room with another unfamiliar ceiling..." He muttered to himself, and not long after a short struggle to sit up, Rei was in the room.

"What the hell happened to me? Where's Kaworu? What did you do with him? He's rally hurt, Rei, and I don't think he'll survive much longer without getting proper help fast enough..." Shinji said, but Rei was silent. "Rei? Did you hear me?"

"Shinji, you...I think you've...you hit your head really hard on the way up; this is my fault..."

"what in the world are you talking about?"

"Shinji, do you know where you are?"

"Some hospital. I get it. I'm inj-"

"No, Shinji. No you're not. You're fine. Look at yourself. You're fine."

Shinji examined his wounds and found bloody bandaging all over his body.

"Look Rei I'm not kidding. I'm injured. Bad. I think it was from when I came back from rescuing Kawo-"

"Shinji stop. None of that happened. There was no meteor. There was no tsunami. NERV didn't get wiped out. Kaworu didn't go anywhere. Don't you remember the Fourth Impact? Please..." Rei pleaded, but Shinji was even more confused. So the last three years of his life never happened...but...Kaworu is still gone forever?

"What sick, twisted game has my father put you up to this time, Rei!? Where is he!? That bastard needs to be put six feet under if the disaster didn't kill him!"

"Stop!" Rei slapped Shinji sharply. Shinji sat in shock from the sudden sting, and as quick as it had happened, it was gone.

"I'm done being gentle and patient with you Shinji. There is just nothing going through with you. So I'm done." She left quickly and Shinji was left to his own thoughts.

"No, Rei! Rei! REI! GET BACK HERE AND GET ME OUT OF HERE! I DON'T BELONG IN THIS STUPID HOSPITAL! I NEED OUT! GET ME OUT! REI!"

 **A/N: okay, normally, I NEVER do these at the end, but I gotta say...writing the beginning of this gave me serious anxiety. Just thinking about getting stuck piloting an EVA or a rocket or anything like that all alone...then you're going to meet someone you haven't seen in years...that gave me some SERIOUS anxiety. I can see why my friends think I'm such a good fit for Shinji now. When I cosplayed as him at Frescon and with my girlfriend, everyone that saw us, including a friend of mine that doesn't know a lick about NGE, wouldn't stop screaming at me to get in the robot and I actually started to get some intense anxiety and they all thought it was adorable which I didn't find very comforting because I don't like being crowded and fawned over when I'm having an anxiety attack.**

 **Also, the German in here I put a translation after for those that don't speak German. I think there was a Spanish word in there too.**

 **My dog was curled so cutely at my feet while I was writing the final bits. I don't think I could get a better, cuter dog. Even if she is a girl dog.**

 **Oh lord she just licked my foot._.**

 **Okay bye.**


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